THE BAD 8 v3.0 - PART VII

LINCOLN TOWN CAR

Top 3 Reasons For Avoiding: Cars should be sized like cars, not yachts. The interior's supposed luxury environment looks like it's straight out of 1989. If every old taxi driver at the airport drives one, you shouldn't.

Alternatives: Hyundai Genesis, a new toupee, Buick Enclave

Base USD Price: $46,525

Ideal Owner: 89-year old widower who stares straight ahead when reversing out of the parking lot at Del Boca Vista. Poor fella'.

Necessary Incentivizing B4 Purchase: Buy 1 Lincoln Town Car, receive 1 free Ford Focus RS from Europe with SVA included.

CLICK HERE FOR THE BAD 8 v3.0 PART VI

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THE BAD 8 v3.0 - PART VI

LEXUS HS250H

Top 3 Reasons For Avoiding: Styling appears to have been done by somebody who wondered what a Toyota Corolla would look like with a can of ugly poured on top. Nobody should want a low-powered front-wheel drive luxury car. This is anti-fun at its worst.

Alternatives: Ford Fusion Hybrid, BMW 3-Series, "finding yourself"

Base USD Price: $34,200

Ideal Owner: The sort of guy (or girl) who frequently makes unbelievable claims about his stereo, the history of her house, the amount of time she spends at the gym, his famous relative, and the fuel economy of "the hybrid I own".

Necessary Incentivizing B4 Purchase: Buy 1 HS250h, receive a penny for everybody who chuckles at you as you drive by.

CLICK HERE FOR THE BAD 8 v3.0 PART V

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THE BAD 8 v3.0 - PART V

HONDA INSIGHT

Top 3 Reasons For Avoiding: Ugliness, thanks mainly to obscene ride height issues. Fuel efficiency isn't anywhere near amazing. Still doesn't drive like a normal car.

Alternatives: Toyota Prius, Kia Soul, Honda Fit Sport

Base USD Price: $19,800

Ideal Owner: Clueless Californian Congressman.

Necessary Incentivizing B4 Purchase: $4,500 off the sticker.

CLICK HERE FOR THE BAD 8 v3.0 PART IV

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THE BAD 8 v3.0 - PART IV

HONDA ACCORD CROSSTOUR

Top 3 Reasons For Avoiding: Styling is embarrassing for everybody involved, even the people looking at it. Ridiculously overpriced. The wrong answer to the question plenty of people asked. The right answer's over at Acura - it's called the TSX wagon.

Alternatives: Subaru Outback, Toyota Venza, Mazda CX-9

Base USD Price: $29,670

Ideal Owner: The very people Honda wants to sell this car to - the wrong people to sell anything to: active empty-nest boomers who want to tote the grandkids around every now and then. Honda doesn't phrase it quite that way.

Necessary Incentivizing B4 Purchase: $10,000 off the sticker.

CLICK HERE FOR THE BAD 8 v3.0 PART III

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THE BAD 8 v3.0 - PART III

DODGE CHALLENGER SE

Top 3 Reasons For Avoiding: Wheels are tiny. Engine is grainy and not all that muscular. Will forever make you wish you bought a Challenger RT or SRT8.

Alternatives: Chevrolet Camaro RS, Subaru Impreza WRX, Volkswagen GTI

Base USD Price: $23,460

Ideal Owner: Middle-aged dude with a generous wife who didn't know the difference between V6 and V8 but heard her husband wanted a Challenger.

Necessary Incentivizing B4 Purchase: Same as last year. "Free 6.1L Hemi in a crate, overnighted via FedEx. Secondary crate full of 20" wheels.

CLICK HERE FOR THE BAD 8 v3.0 PART II

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THE BAD 8 v3.0 - PART II

CHRYSLER SEBRING CONVERTIBLE

Top 3 Reasons For Avoiding: Ranked as one of the ugliest cars ever to hit the road, especially with the top up. Handle with as much alacrity as a mid-90s Suburban. Built for retirees in south Florida.

Alternatives: Ford Mustang Convertible, Mazda MX-5 Miata, crawling into a hole full of ants

Base USD Price: $28,590

Ideal Owner: 76-year old married snowbirds with paint-on tans and a collection of fit-over sunglasses.

Necessary Incentivizing B4 Purchase: Buy a Chrysler Sebring Convertible, get a Jeep Wrangler free.

CLICK HERE FOR THE BAD 8 v3.0 PART I

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THE BAD 8 v3.0 - PART I

BMW 5-SERIES GT

Top 3 Reasons For Avoiding: Overpriced. Overweight. Over the top.

Alternatives: '09 BMW 5-Series Sports Wagon, BMW X5 xDrive45i, Cadillac CTS Sport Wagon

Base USD Price: $63,900

Ideal Owner: Divorced 45-year old lawyer who thinks he might go kayaking once in a while.

Necessary Incentivizing B4 Purchase: Pricing at the bottom end of the 5-Series range, not the top.

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