THE BAD 8 - PART V

Lexus SC430

You're thinking: "Lexus? Lexus?! The Good Car Guy thinks a Lexus is a bad car?" I'm thinking: That's not such a bad question. The SC430 presents a spectacular interior; smooth and serene upon every cruise. Lexus is widely regarded for its relentless pursuit of perfection, and although not perfect, their QRD (quality, reliability, durability) is basically peerless.

But the SC430 is far from a recommended purchase. Upon its debut, Lexus designers said they were inspired by boats along the French Riviera. Clearly, the styling inspiration was either misplaced or miscalculated. Secondly, the SC430 punches well below its weight with just 288 horsepower. Yes, I said 'just' 288. This convertible is swimming with the big fish now, and 288 is adequate only for sporting cars multiple classes down.

Finally, the French Riviera inspiration carried over in the wrong place. Especially when considering the SC430's main competition, this French boat-inspired, Japanese hardtop-convertible handles like a ship without a rudder. Steering inputs are helpful suggestions, rather than intuitive commands. Anything approaching 'fun' has been displaced in favour of extreme cushiness.

Lexus rarely takes reckless chances. With the SC430, Lexus took some form of a chance. The Bad 8 makes clear that they shouldn't have bothered.

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Alternatives: Porsche Boxster, Jaguar XK, Chevrolet Corvette, Volvo C70, Mercedes-Benz CLK350

Necessary Incentiving To Switch To The Good 12: $9,755 off the MSRP, making the base SC430 equivalently priced with Porsche's Boxster S.

Anything Else? The SC's predecessor was a beautiful, comfortable, classy hardtop-only six and eight-cylinder sports coupe.

THE BAD 8 - PART IV

KIA AMANTI

The company under which hangs Kia Motors offers a vehicle called Azera. Yes, the Hyundai Azera can be had with the same engine for less money. Sure, the Azera is a newer design. True, the Azera is much better looking.

Why then, pray tell, isn't the Kia Amanti a member of The Good 12? Equivalent power, in addition to a superior image and visuals can be had elsewhere. The overwhelming nausea any compassionate person suffers when watching an Amanti drive by can be heightened only by the sight of sandals & socks or dress shoes & shorts. What Not To Wear? The Good Car Guy is ready to host What Not To Drive. Drivers of Kia's Amanti are automatically nominated for appearances on the first show.

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Alternatives: Hyundai Azera, Chrysler 300

Necessary Incentivizing To Switch To The Good 12: Free Kia Rio5 with every Amanti purchased.

Anything Else? The same company manages to introduce the Soul, although a lack of brains led to the debut of the Amanti.

THE BAD 8 - PART III

FORD TAURUS

Oh... sorry, what was that? It appears you caught me napping in the middle of a post. Ford's Taurus, nee Five Hundred, will put you to sleep, as well. It is for that reason - almost solely for that reason - that the Taurus is forced into the shame of Bad 8 membership.

With dozens of makes and hundreds of models on the road, added to the hundreds of different older vehicles still roaming, the Taurus still holds a firm grasp on the lowly title of Car Most Likely Not To Be Noticed Driving By. True, the likelihood of pedestrians taking notice may increase as sales of the Taurus decrease and it becomes a rare sight; in a twisted boring Lamborghini sense.

Ford now equips the Taurus with a much better engine than what once was true. CNNMoney suggests that this full-size sedan is the safest car on the road, as judged by its perfect scores at NHTSA and IIHS crash tests. Space inside the Taurus is plentiful and well-appointed. But....

I'm falling asleep again. The driver of a Ford Taurus is unengaged. Lifeless steering, wallowy ride and handling, unresponsive dynamics, and uninspiring visuals are traits that combine to make the Taurus a great car.... in a different era. Which era; I'm not sure. But it must have been true at some point.

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Alternatives: Chrysler 300, Toyota Avalon, Honda Accord, Hyundai Azera

Necessary Incentivizing To Switch To The Good 12: $4000 cash on the hood. The car isn't terrible - but the alternatives at its MSRP are undoubtedly much better.

Anything Else? Check out Ford's full-size options in Australia, the Falcon & Fairlane, and tell me if their appeal isn't 10x stronger.

THE BAD 8 - PART II

CHRYSLER SEBRING CONVERTIBLE

Keep it brief: complementary reviews may as well be lengthy; harsh reviews and placements on Must Avoid lists shouldn't be exhaustive. If you don't have anything nice to say.... at least keep your comments short.

Chief reasoning to affix Bad Car to any vehicle is always the evidence of a substantial number of better automobiles available at a substantially lower price of entry. Three more reasons that Chrysler's Sebring Convertible should remain far away from your shopping list?

Check out that hind end. If I tried to design something as henious as that; I would fail. Next, watch that hind end wallow when following a Sebring Convertible in Orlando this summer. Guaranteed: you'll wonder just how the occupants aren't barfing over the side for the sea-sickness.

Finally, you read the word 'Orlando', right? Well, what about Boca Raton? Jerry bought his dad a big Cadillac quite a few years ago. If Seinfeld were still on the air, it'd be a Sebring Convertible in 2008. The real Jerry Seinfeld knows better - but Boca Raton knows worse.

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Alternatives: Ford Mustang, Volvo C70, Volkswagen Eos, Mini Cooper

Necessary Incentivizing To Switch To The Good 12: Downpayment for south Florida condo in the trunk of your new Sebring Convertible.

Anything Else? The Sebring battles the Mustang for top-selling droptop in the USA, but is beginning to drift from its former #1 perch.

THE BAD 8 - PART I

CHRYSLER CROSSFIRE

I once was a little brother; accustomed to hand-me-downs, but that doesn't mean I wanted to pay top dollar for my brother's t-shirt and jeans. When Daimler & Chrysler were still 'one', the M-B SLK became the hardtop, overtly-styled, Chrysler Crossfire.

Problem? The first SLK wasn't great to begin with, certainly not in its dynamic ability. Producing a convertible version of the Crossfire became somewhat embarrassing. After all, the SLK came standard with a folding hardtop. A retractable hardtop was not part of the deal for the Crossfire when Chrysler received the second-hand platform.

Sure, my abode is not inside the sunbelt, but I have seen a Crossfire or two. Well, maybe it was the same one. Expecting members of the human population (a race with at least some measure of inherent intelligence) to pay upwards of $30,000 USD, even over $40K for a top-line roadster, is insulting.

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Alternatives: Ford Mustang GT, Mazda MX-5 Miata, Nissan 350Z, Mazda RX-8

Necessary Incentivizing To Switch To The Good 12: $17,000 cash back and $3,000 worth of bodykit accessories.

Anything Else? Chrysler is bidding the Crossfire farewell. Join them in saying, "Good riddance".

THE BAD 8 - INTRO

While automakers spend millions upon millions of dollars in research & development to make an appearance on a list like the just completed The Good 12, they also spend their millions upon millions to assure their absence on the upcoming list, The Bad 8. It behoves the automotive press, mainstream or otherwise, to inform you of your best and most exciting purchase options. Unfortunately, although unpleasant and anger-inducing, just as needful as a recommended list is an avoid-at-all-costs list.



Less unfortunate is the fact that few cars are 'bad' in the sense they were just ten or fifteen years ago. You're less likely than ever to be stranded on the side of the highway with your new car, but you'll probably be comfortable waiting inside your automobile if indeed you do come to an unexpected stop. The car - yes, just about any new car in North America - will keep you safe in an accident and do plenty to avoid the accident in the first place. There's a good chance that same car is more fuel efficient than its equivalent ancestors, better for the environment, and more powerful.

Yet there's room amongst the hundreds of models available in the USA and Canada to create The Bad 8. This is, after all, GoodCarBadCar. With a name like that comes a reputation to maintain. The Bad 8 is fully of the unnecessary, dull, boring, ugly, and pitiful. Automakers sometimes forget to discuss the development of a vehicle with the design department. Sometimes, you'd be correct in assuming that future trends were thrown on the back burner and automakers gave birth four years late.

One way or another, over the next eight days you'll see the eight cars you shouldn't bother with in 2008. To learn more about The Good 12, click here. If you want to see more about the Audi TT, BMW 3-series convertible, Chevrolet Corvette, Honda Accord, Honda Fit, Hyundai Accent hatchback, Infiniti G, Mini Cooper, Porsche Boxster, smart fortwo, Volkswagen GTI, and Volvo V70, follow this link.

THE GOOD 12 EN MASSE

Before The Good 12 debuted, one-by-one, on GoodCarBadCar.net, all twelve cars were shown in brief spurts on YouTube. Having told you that, and having left you feeling put out, here's the clip 13 days late. We now await The Bad 8, only hours away. (Hey, The Good 12 v2.0 has begun - check out the twelve cars you should be driving for 2009 now)